This is Why You Shouldn’t Always Trust Google Reviews in Taipei
We’re always on the hunt for the best restaurants in Taipei, and one of the obvious ways we judge new discoveries is through online reviews. After searching for craft beer spots near Taipei Main Station and stumbling upon Jap Jap Bikini, a seemingly quirky yet highly-rated drinking hole just across the street, we were excited to check it out.
Jap Jap Bikini looked like a promising choice for a late Saturday lunch. It had a 4.7 on Google with over 700 reviews. Some of the English-language comments included:
“Unbelievable quality. Best place I ate in a week in Taiwan.”
“…best place to go in Taiwan for American style food.”
“Great atmosphere, great beers, great music, and outstanding service.”
“A must go for beer and food lovers!!”
Was this some sort of little-known gem in the Taipei restaurant scene we’d failed to notice in the past? Based on its name and our limited research, Jap Jap Bikini seemed assuredly offbeat, but the great reviews spoke for themselves.
“OK… This place is strange.”
Our first impressions made us immediately suspicious. The sterile furnishings (white plastic chairs and shiny tables) were juxtaposed with bikini-clad cartoon women plastered on the walls. The sad palm tree in the corner heightened the artificial rather than beach aesthetic. On TV, Shawn Mendes sang “Lost in Japan” at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show for a middle-aged Taiwanese couple and a woman who was apparently asleep on another table. Weird vibes all around.
Still, we had faith in the reviews. All could be forgiven with delicious food!
Jap Jap Bikini’s best feature was its extensive beer list. It had imported German and Belgian options, plus local favourites from breweries like Redpoint, Floating Light, Fortunemax Co., Taiwan Head Brewers, Taihu, and 55 Street. There was an option to sample 4 x 180 mL of the rotating draft beers for NT$320, or choose from a selection of wines and Kavalan Whiskey.
We felt a wave of choice paralysis but ended up going with the Oolong Tea and Coffee Stout beers from Taiwan Head Brewers. The former was much too sweet for our taste, but we did enjoy the latter.
If only the restaurant’s vibe didn’t feel like some oddly sexualized hospital cafeteria, we’d recommend going for its beer selection alone!
The food menu was an uncomfortably large board with tacky pink swirls. Options were certifiably random: fried chicken, waffles, German pork knuckle, pasta, and a mix of cakes/tarts for dessert.
We weren’t overly enthusiastic about anything on the menu, but the waitress came to make some suggestions. She recommended ribs — the most popular choice for foreigners — and we concurred. How could we pass on Jap Jap Bikini’s signature dish?
Our waitress ran out onto the sidewalk to try to coax pedestrians to come inside the restaurant, then returned to finish taking our order. Still undecided, we panicked and chose a risotto.
The Truffle and Mushroom Kingdom Risotto (NT$228) actually wasn’t awful. It was creamy with a strong truffle taste, making it rich enough that we couldn’t eat the whole thing at once.
The half rack of ribs, with a hefty price tag of NT$480, was the real crime. The platter came with potato wedges, a “salad” (iceberg lettuce with a few chunks of diced tomato and a drizzle of vinegar) and — most inexplicably — a bowl of relish. Were we meant to dip our potato wedges in? Pour it on the ribs? Toss the salad in it? Your guess is as good as ours.
The potato wedges were decent, but the ribs were chewy and underdressed. They were edible but in our opinion, undeserving of the price tag. We stared down at them in disappointment while straight-up spoon-feeding ourselves relish.
Our bill was already annoyingly expensive before they slapped on a 10% service charge. On the plus side, we got 2 coupons for a free 30-minute massage nearby. At that point our hopes weren’t very high, so we decided to head home in defeat. We weren’t exactly in great spirits after being robbed by an underwhelming dining experience.
Nothing about the restaurant was overly offensive, and to be fair, the beer menu was impressive. Yet we couldn’t understand how the mediocre food and strange atmosphere could possibly boast 4.7 stars on Google. Who on earth claimed this was the “best place to go in Taiwan for American style food” when there are so many great Western places in Taipei alone?? We went back onto the reviews just to be sure that we hadn’t imagined them and read through all the posts praising Jap Jap Bikini with incredulity. We just don’t get it. We have been to cafes and restaurants that have promotions that are only available if you like/rate their establishment on Facebook or Google (sometimes they even stand over you while you do it, making it hard to leave anything less than five stars). It’s a tempting offer: a discount in exchange for reviews. We have no idea if that’s what happened here, but we wouldn’t be surprised if it did.
Lesson learned: always treat Google reviews with a healthy dose of skepticism.
What’s the vibe?
An attempt at being unconventional and provocative to bizarre effect. The bright furnishings and cartoon bikini girls felt cheap and everything (including the menu and food) seemed oddly mismatched. It was just weird.
Worth it?
Not at all. My lousy ribs and sweet beer cost more than NT$800 including service fee. I couldn’t help but think of all the better ways I could’ve spent that money (which don’t include random dishes of relish).
Would you go back?
No.
Visited: January 2019
Did you have a different experience at Jap Jap Bikini? Let us know in the comments below!
| Jap Jap Bikini |
| Hours: 10:30am - 12am |
| Phone: 02 2312 0687 |
| English Address: No. 72-26, Section 1, Zhongxiao West Road, Zhongzheng District, Taipei City, 100 |
| Chinese Address: 忠孝西路一段72號之26 |
